WE OUTSIDE!: Summer Safety, Consent & Care
This world wasn’t made for Black trans joy, but we make room for it anyway, every season. Whether you're soaking up some sun while on your third cookout plate, dancing your heart out at Pride, or kissing a cutie under the fireworks, the summer can be magical. But it’s also a time to stay sharp about safety, consent, and care.
The next few months are dripping with festivals, concerts, day parties, and other large-scale events where spontaneous meetups can be affirming or exhausting, fun or risky, freeing or anxiety-inducing. So how can you protect your peace, your health, and your joy while making the most of everything summer brings your way?
Here are a few tips to keep you grounded without missing a moment of fun:
1. Consent Is Sexy. Get It. Give It. Confirm It.
Consent isn't just about sex. It’s about touch, photos, conversations, and energy. Whether you're making out in the back of a car, getting close on a dance floor, or just vibing with someone new, always check in.
Ask before touching, hugging, kissing, or snapping a selfie together.
Don’t assume someone is out or that they’re comfortable with strangers knowing their gender history.
When asking for consent, listen for an enthusiastic “Yes!” Anything less is a “no.”
Know that consent is ongoing. Someone can change their mind, and so can you.
Asserting your own boundaries is just as important as respecting others. You don’t owe anyone your time, your story, or your body, even during Pride Month.
2. Pleasure & Protection Go Hand-in-Hand
Let’s talk about sex and intimacy. They can be beautiful, wild, creative and energizing. And you deserve to enjoy them safely.
Keep your “Go Bag” stocked with condoms, lube, dental dams, emergency contraceptives, wipes, aftercare goodies, and any affirming supplies you need.
Don’t be afraid to ask about STI status, testing dates, and protection. It’s not awkward, it’s adulthood.
Regular HIV and STI testing is a gesture of self-love. Many LGBTQ+ clinics and community care organizations like TKO offer free or low-cost testing. Consider testing together as a cute date idea. (For free testing at TKO, email johnathan.tarver@tkosociety.com)
Know your boundaries ahead of time. That includes emotional and physical boundaries. And remember: not all intimacy has to be sexual. You can flirt, cuddle, dance, and be desired without doing anything you’re not fully into.
3. Drink. Eat. Don’t Deplete.
From rooftop parties to beach days, it can be easy to skip meals, become dehydrated, or ignore fatigue when you're caught in the moment. Add Don Julio or Mary Jane to the mix, and you’re in even riskier territory. Here’s how to stay grounded:
Don’t be thirsty! Hydrate. Water, electrolyte drinks, and non-alcoholic options are great choices.
Eat real food. Snacks are good too, but you need nutrients and nourishment when you’re in the heat – or in heat.
If drugs or alcohol are your thing, pace yourself and stay with people you trust. Set your own limits before going out.
Carry emergency cash, a mobile charger, and have a backup plan for transportation (Uber, Lyft, sober friend, etc.). Enjoy yourself! But don’t drive and risk your life, the lives of others, or a weekend in the local jail.
Listen to your body. And when in doubt? Sit down, breathe deeply, take a rest.
4. When I Move, You Move
As independent as you may be, it’s always better to have fun in groups, or at least make sure someone knows where you are. And if you go as a group, make sure no one gets left behind!
Share your location with a relative, friend or group.
Set check-in times: “Text me when you get there/when you leave.”
If you're meeting someone new, aim for a well-lit public place or a place that you’re familiar with, and let a trusted friend know the who, what, where, and when.
Create a code word or emoji to use in case you need help but can’t say it directly.
There’s power in numbers. Show up for each other, and check in even after the party ends.
The bottom line is: You deserve to be free. You deserve to dance. To flirt. To be seen as whole and celebrated exactly as you are. And you deserve to stay safe while doing it. So enjoy your time outside this summer – and don’t forget your sunscreen.
